I think that we all have days and maybe months or even years when we have doubts about what we are doing. I can tell you that going to Africa doesn’t make those doubts end! As a matter of fact, they still overwhelm me at times. This has been the struggle that I’ve had for the past week or so.
As my time here in Mbale grows short, I have had lots of doubts about what I’m doing. It doesn’t seem like I’ve done much while I’ve been here. Africa can totally overwhelm you. The needs are so great that you know that there is no way that you can even make a dent. Anything that you do is just a drop in the ocean. Even after I’ve ministered and it seems like God has been present, I’m never sure. I’ve really had to learn to have faith that God is working. But I still have those doubts about if I’m really doing what God wants me to be doing. I wonder if maybe I should be back in America working to support someone else that could do a better job and bring more help to the people I have fallen in love with. It’s VERY easy to see your failures and sometimes hard to see the things that God is doing.
On this Ascension Sunday, the Lord has reminded me that, yes, I’m where He wants me to be. I’m just the sower and that He does everything else!!! How did He do that? Well let me tell you how!!!! Yes, I’m a little pumped after seeing the power of God manifested today. Just check out the pictures.
On Saturday we had a long day ordaining 7 deacons so we stayed home on Sunday and had church here at Bishop Gogo’s house. As we got started, we had a mommy and her four children with us for the first time. I thought that I should know them but wasn’t sure. Well, I did know them but had not seen them since sometime in March. They are the family that I prayed for when I first got back to Mbale. I had also prayed for them last year. After I had prayed for them in March I found out that they were Muslims. They were all sick and the husband could no longer work and they could hardly sleep because of demons attacking them at night. We prayed for God to heal them, to stop the demons from attacking them, and to set them free. Now this was before I knew that they were Muslims. If I had known that they were Muslims, I probably would have gotten all spiritual, I’m sure, and would have told them that they would need to renounce being a Muslim then God would set them free and heal them. I even thought about the next time they came for prayer that I would have to explain to them that to be truly healed and set free they would need to become Christians and about how staying Muslim would only invite the demons back into their home. So when I recognized who they were my first thoughts were, “Oh Lord, here we go again! How do I explain the finer details of the Faith to them?!”
In African churches, there is usually a time of testimonies and, after several testimonies, this lady stands up and begins to thank The Lord!!!!!! Now my head is spinning and my doubts are in full bloom. I mean is she thanking her Muslim god or what? I start really listening to what she’s saying so that I’ll be able to straighten her out about who set her family, ALL OF THEM, free and healed them!! That’s when God started to just blow my mind. She was praising Jesus for coming and touching her family, healing them and freeing them from the demons that had been attacking them!! Not only did He set them free and heal them of sickness but He is now coming into their hearts and truly setting them free!! Then Bishop Gogo explained to me that it was because of me being there to pray for them that they have begun to meet the living Christ. They now want to be Christians and are talking with him about what that means. They no longer worship as Muslims. They now worship as Christians and are coming into a real relationship with Jesus!!!!
So once again I’m reminded that it’s not about me and what I’m doing or not doing, but it really is about just hanging in there, doing the little that I can, which may even be doing nothing, and looking to Him. In the Gospel this Sunday, John 17:1-11, verse 1 says that Jesus lifted up His eyes to heaven. That is the lesson that I need to learn, to just simply keep my eyes lifted up to heaven. Who knows what other cool things I might get to see God doing?
This family has been freed of demons, is healed, and the dad is now able to work all because of the faithfulness of Jesus and His love for them!